This post has been inspired by a friend who is currently struggling with some deep existential questions, some similar questions that I have struggled with in the last few years. Right now they are at a point of wanting to try to figure things out on their own, stepping back from being in close relationship with others. This has reminded me of some of my own tendencies to pull back and isolate and do everything by myself. As a recovering over analyzer and hyper independent person, I can tell you that this is not the way.
Through my self discovery journey I have come to realize that healing cannot be done sitting in a room alone thinking. You can read all the books, listen to all the podcasts and understand all your patterns but still keep repeating them. I cannot emphasize how integral community and connection are to our over health and well being. Don’t get me wrong, time alone to integrate experiences is essential. I just took a lovely 3 day break last week from social media and group chats to integrate my recent somatic release. And this is still your journey – other people cannot do the work for you. You are ultimately responsible for your own emotional regulation, but they can hold space for you while you do it.
The leaps forward in my journey have come when I have opened up to others and allowed myself to be vulnerable and accept the help and support of my community. That is where the true work of healing is done – in deep connection with others. Only when your nervous system can feel safety can you truly be able to release your tension, fear, shame, anxiety – whatever it is that is holding you back. When things get hard instead of following the urge to pull back, I have been asking myself how I can stay in connection and work through things with the support of my community. Understanding that I am deserving of support as much as others. Understanding that speaking my needs is not greedy. And recalling that if it feels good for me to support others in my community then it feels good for them to support me. We can learn and grow by both giving and receiving.
I want to take some time to express deep gratitude to those that have held space for me during my time of growth and opening especially during recent times of deep grief. Facilitators and fellow students in Breathwork, Reiki and ZenThai, friends and lovers, chosen family – you are appreciated. I have been inspired to do this work to give back to others and help them in their journies. So to anyone out there struggling, please know that you were not meant to do this alone. Its not weakness to ask for and accept help, it takes strength to show vulnerability.
Raven's Breath Somatic Facilitation 